When you see someone make a major change to their life, it's usually not by choice

Our local paper the Morning Call has an item about a local Disney collector who's selling off his entire collection, and is considering having thousands of Disney tattoos removed from his body.

Now, what would inspire, or drive, a person who's spent nearly his whole life collecting something to part with it?  Is he suffering from a health issue and needs the money?  Do his kids need a house?  Did he bet on the Washington Generals one time too many?

Nope.

"Reiger's tune changed recently when he met a woman in Florida."

You.

Stupid.

BASTARD.

He allegedly met his new love at a Disney convention.  That really begs the question why would he then choose to sell off what has to be described as a major portion of his life and epidermis?

This SCREAMS "Either this crap goes or I do".

There's not a sci-fi or comics fan who doesn't have a friend who found a girl (or guy) and got convinced to sell/donate/just fucking throw away all their collectibles.  They have that look of tired resignation to them, paired with a repeated "No, really, she's a great girl, she just thinks we need more room in the apartment."

This guy spent his life happy as a clam, going to the theme parks and getting more ink than the last theatrical release.  But he meets a girl, and goes from "Hi Ho" to "Yes Dear" in nothing flat.

He couldn't even bring himself to be at the auction - he's off on another (and I'll warrant his last) Disney Cruise, probably crying into his Goofy-tini, realizing that even though he gets to keep the glass, she probably won't let it in the house.

Here's what you do.  Go ahead and get married.  The sex is likely fabulous - it's what lures most men into tender traps like this.  So have a lovely wedding, and a great honeymoon.  Get her nice and pregnant..  Nine months from now, when the resentment starts to really sink in, make sure she gets an epidural.  She should have no pain or discomfort at all, the child should be healthy and well.

But as she's laying there in the recovery room, the nurse is going to come in with the paperwork for the birth certificate.  She'll ask, "Name?"

Look at your wife, think of all you parted with in the name of her love, and then look back at the nurse.

"Mickey."