Friday, May 13, 2011

Conspiracy time - or- "They Saved Bin-Laden's Brain!"

Of all the things people are carping about regarding the death of Bin-Laden, the fact that they buried at body at sea has been taken as gospel.  Some claim that he's not really dead, others that he was killed years ago.  Many purport that they've known his location for months, yet waited for the most politically opportune time to strike.  Cause yeah, right after the Royal Wedding is a political sweet-spot for sure.
But rather than cast suspicion on the idea that the body's just gone, they choose to buy that bit (literally) sight unseen, because it's something better used as a thing to criticize him for. Why did he get rid of the body, how could they get enough evidence so quickly, yammer yammer.

And of all the crazy things the conspiracy folks say, THAT'S the one bit I think they could actually be lying about.

I mean dig, they do all sorts of things to famous dead people. They analyzed Dahmer's brain for abnormalities, They weighed Einstein's brain to see if it was bigger than the average one (It was, IIRC), and Dillinger...well, you know what they did with Dillinger' know.

So I think, OK, they get set to dump the body at sea, have the whole ceremony, get a Muslim soldier to wash him down in accordance with Islamic tradition...and them swap the packages. Everybody takes as read that it's gone (because as I said, they can get more mileage out of criticizing the move than doubting it) and the Government can go over the body with a fine tooth comb unencumbered by publicity. While Al Quaeda is scouring the ocean floor for the body, the CIA is freezing his brain and slicing it into wafers, looking for the place where God wrote "P.S. America Sucks" on it in crayon.

As for the photos, I don't think anybody seriously doubts he's dead. They'll rail about the need to provide provenance to the world, touting the idea of closure...when really, the only closure anyone wants is to "closeure" their hand into a fist, extend the middle finger, and point it at the photo.

Have you seen that pic of him wrapped in his little shawl, fumbling with the remote, looking for all the world like an old woman trying to watch her stories? THAT'S a far better "last picture of Osama Bin-Laden" than any headshot could be.